One!

Well I haven't posted for a while considering the vastly different change in my life now that school has finished. I'm writing about this new club in Bundaberg which was supposed to rival even GC Clubs... now we can't expect that much from Bundaberg, but all in all it was awesome! I literally had the best time dancing, drinking and getting all sorts of fucked up... and it's amazing how unsuited West McDonalds is to catering for the many drunkards parading the street... setting up a Kebab stand would be an absolute goldmine, it's also quite interesting the people you meet, many people go to the big cities to find artistic expression and the various things that small towns just can't have; we do! Though by all means I'm not going to stay in Bundaberg... I'm not that crazy haha Also with work now paying me a shitload of money, I can afford to get pissed and off my head, well not next weekend with me working fucking Saturday and Sunday 8am-6pm grrrrr! But with a $650 paycheck for 35 hours, which sounds like my maths is off but with the inclusion of time and a half on Sunday it all looks a little clearer... Leigh out!

Relinquishing my soul

What many people don't know about me is my extreme obsession with Immortality, my brother is really the only one that know's of the full extent to which I will go to to achieve everlasting life. I have researched everything from Hela's immortality gene to Dr. Aubrey Grey's research into the seven ways we die, the Hayflick limit and even supernatural means... now I'm a realist and an Atheist, so believing in supernatural means to become immortal is quite the challenge considering I'm fairly sure that there is absolutely nothing but black conscienceless nothingness after we die. But I have hope. Hope that I can acquire something that has baffled everyone since our evolution into Homo Sapien Sapiens, something that can sustain my body for all of eternity... maybe this obsession stems from the fact that I want to try everything, taste, smell, touch, do EVERYTHING! But I only have a good 100 years or so (this age takes into account medical advancements and such) to do everything in. Now I can say that I have enchanted spells to summon Lucifer and even Death to no avail of course... this was when I was about 14 -15 years old, immature and arrogant but this was when I was irrationally into death metal and satanic rituals... surprisingly if you know me you would never believe me to be capable of this considering my appearance and demeanour in the present. 

This picture was taken when I was 16... two years later below this picture, I tend to display a less depressive look. 

So this blog was really just a way of inviting you into my personal life and so on and so forth...

Also in the near future when I am a bit older and when my brother is able to get one, me and him have agreed to get tattoos detailing our differences to each other... he will get this tattooed on his right arm...

While I get this tattooed on my left arm...

Something Rather Imperfect

I feel so nervous, Prom is near and really, for once in my life I am worrying about what I'm going to look like and how others will perceive me. And with the end of school I feel so relieved but also anxious about the future, leaving this town is going to be so good but at the same time, I'll miss my family so much. I haven't felt this emotionally human in a long time, normally I don't show that much of myself to anyone, instead hiding behind smiles and accents and an excessive amount of ego. Also the Prom After-Party shall be interesting if it even happens haha $15 actually isn't that much for a contribution, I have a job, and I can afford the BYO as well, I'm just going along with the crowd with the whole "complaining about transport and the host's massive profit margin". Anyway I don't have pictures of my actual ride for Prom yet or my suit, so I will entertain you with representations of what I will wear and arrive in.  These are variations of the vest, haven't decided though... my actual suit and ride will be put up soon.

A Life

'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for.'

A Mirage

I can keep that strong stance, take the pain and remain peaceful. I never feel aggression and turn every conflict inside out to represent the empathetic nature of humanity. A smile is all I need and I know I've done my job, but I know when to stop with the smiling and remain in the shadows. I am more influential in your life despite my lack of presence, you just don't notice it. Social networking and SMS hides the cheer and the anger and the sarcasm and the truth. I don't need to smile over chat and I rarely do. When I smile I feel alive but unfortunately it accounts for 2% 1% of my day, the other 99% is filled with guilt, jealousy, pain, despair, questions unanswered... But I know I must remain strong and for the rest of my life I will remain honourable to my family and never waver to protect my siblings because such delicacies that are tasted by humans such as fear and want are cast away as the world turns into the hell it was destined to become and I will stand there smiling as I am invincible with my family, nothing can beat me with my family and because of my family I would see this world burn just to see a smile on their faces. Now I said the only time I was happy was when I was smiling. Ever heard of a crocodile smile...

Not unlike a Hangover!!!

Well the Gold Coast was utterly fantastic and I will reiterate the first night in detail because it comes straight from any exciting event-filled drunken haze known to man!!!  We will start at 5.30 pm when Kiwi brought in this "Bingo shot" game... needless to say, I'm one of the first he called. I donned my Vans and grabbed a red shot class and straight away Sky Vodka was on the table and also some extremely potent drink was added to the mix as the game progressed... Rum! Now forgive me but parts of my memory from that night have been lost haha I will begin with a photo of some alcohol we had... not all of it either haha

$100, the price of a lap-dance that many would say is a wasteful deceitful pleasurable thing with no chance of real reciprocation from the stripper... I say well worth it haha and quite convenient that you can pay on card... also may I say that the Guards and Bouncers are quite strict on the state you show up in, so for example if you're drunk as fuck and can't even manage to pull out your I.D, they will refuse entry, for about 30 mins lol then back you go!!!!!


A story for my readers... the R&B section packed full of all colours except white surprisingly... Ben and I think, hmmmm? we can dance to this music, so for about 20 min we own the floor and everyone thinks we're great haha it was the best thing to happen.


Waking up was quite dreadful though it was quite the experience... I wake up to the sound of the beach as I raise my head the sun shines and blinds me, I grab my sunglasses which are lying on my chest as I slip my phone out "10 unread messages, 7 missed calls, 5 voice messages" and I can say with all believability that you if you change the shirt from black to purple this is exactly what I looked like when I woke up with the same reaction as well!!!


I'm doing this again next year fuck it! I'll do it for the  NEW YEAR!!!


 Photo's from that night will be posted later unfortunately because it's taking quite a long time to upload all of them. But do not fear a Blog is near!!!

Imma start with this and with that... and such

Well though I haven't gone to school for the past two days I am feeling quite pleasant... Gold Coast is right around the corner and I'm starting to revel in the fact that Prom might be bearable after all, thing is I just have to buy a suit and my ticket haha luckily I've been working everyday this week; so next weeks pay check will be about $150... that's the Suit done and then mum said she will pay for my ticket, ILY MUM! Now instead of a Rolls Royce I have decided to get a classic Falcon mostly because I absolutely think it will obliterate a lot of the competition. Also I have found out that my cousin is pregnant so that means Imma be an Uncle (insert massive quantities of smiles)  Now I know what you're thinking, "Leigh, it will be your second cousin dumb-ass!"... I just don't care really because me and my cousin are close like brother and sister so it will be like I'm an uncle. 

Believe me when I say that though my Blog may appear partially Bi-Polar with a quick reference to suicide here and an unbelievably vein description of myself there, I am absolutely humble if you ever meet me, never confrontational and though I hate to admit it, just a tinsy bit submissive. So this is me signing off again... oh shit I have work soon!

The Gold Coast

My best friend and I are going down to the Gold Coast on the 28th and are staying in a penthouse while visiting the much anticipated SCREAMWORLD!!!!!!! We're going with 15 other people and to specify, we have rented out two penthouses which is the whole 16th floor...This will be awesome because at least I can get away from all the misery leading up to Prom... There is this place called Infinity which is supposedly a trippy building dedicated to the freaky and weird of technology which will be awesome...

Despair

I feel so wrecked... The embarrasment of going to prom alone is a weight I can't hold... I've decided I actually might not go... This pain in my gut won't subside and I feel like vomiting though nothing comes out... Genuine fear, I feel first and never more again. Who could care less right? I'm not good enough and never will be... So in retrospect the money I would have spent can be forwarded to my ongoing and might I add, expensive education. I will leave school after next lesson... I can not bear the thought of ridicule... I can't stand it anymore! And now more than ever I wish that rope had caught my neck and the echoing snap be heard for ever...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Prom... again

This has been bugging me because so many people have their certain ways in which they plan for Prom... I on the other hand have none... Of course I might be a bit more enthusiastic if I had a date... yah I was lazy and nervous and thought no one is going to want to go with me... I was a dumb-shit and left it until about a month and a bit to go. I have asked about... (calculations) 10 girls from both outside and inside the school and most of the answers have been... "I already have one, sorry" or one in particular "Your hot but unfortunately I promised this guy and I can't ditch him" and with the outside women it has been in the realm of "I'm not interested in going" and such and such... I do have one prospect though the circumstances are a bit dodgy... she has a date who doesn't want to go (chances are he's not going to go) and I kept my distance until it was a sure thing and now someone else who is also a friend of mine has asked her... this troubles me because now she has to choose and though I know I'll come out on top because I'm spectacular in every single way, but I don't want that to effect my friendship with the said competition... also on another note I might like to make a shout out to my wonderful friends Angus and Jake who are nice and kind and do not physically abuse me at all and respect my belongings and would never ever steal my phone and send absurd and frankly extremely sexual messages to the most random people lol... Sarcasm implied.... On a side note this pic is hilarious...

Rants

Stop crying cause I don't care... Care factor zero mother fucker and don't whine about your dead dog or parent either... we're human and that means anything that could benefit us is most certainly going to take priority over anything empathetic moody bitch is saying. Your life sucks... so does mine and everyone else's and I'm not going to go into the whole "there are children starving in a third-world country what do you have to worry about " argument cause frankly I don't care about those children and you shouldn't either because given the same position, they would leave you to deteriorate and burn under our hot sun... also may I add wear a condom because I don't want you posing the gene pool... Children should be a privilege  especially when your living off $200 a fortnight on centre-link benefits you crazed pot-smoking bogan bucktoothed faggot fuck! In the end I don't care about everyone and their problems... I want to enjoy the very short existence I have on this earth by fucking, sleeping and eating. Everyone, any-time and anything... In conclusion if you want to finish this school year off with hatred then...

Support

Beauty can be a hard thing to define... I will talk about this one girl I had a crush on, to me she was absolutely undeniably hot, stunning... but my friends all said she was unattractive, back-stabbing, snide and they were content on giving her shit... until one day, this one small ogre bitch who will remain unnamed, would give her shit non-stop and I couldn't stand by and watch it any longer... now in retrospect I knew that the ogre would go running back to my group and convince them I was the bad guy. But to my surprise after I had argued with her constantly about leaving this girl alone my best friend actually supported me... now to get how much that means I have to detail me and my best friends friendship... it is mostly seeped in insult-based humour with partial ignorance to prevailing opinions about social and political questions... also shall I mention the lack of respect we share for each other haha... this I think is what makes us bros for life... anywho he stopped for a short time, away from giving me his daily dose of said insult-based humour and supported my cause... now after our massive rant about respect and the fact that she shouldn't judge appearances especially based on what she packs, I would think that this crush I used to have is being left alone away from such torment... but this post was not really about what happened in the past... this is a message to her, to tell her that the title does apply to everyone and if she ever needs help and cannot get it from her immediate best-friends, that she always has us... Idk why I put the pic in but it's funny sooo enjoy!

Memes

Imma just lay down some memorable memes that have made my day haha Some might be a bit cheesy or mainstream for you hipsters but who cares...

My Brother

I must say that my brother is... (insert various forms of insults) but also at the same time the amount of shit I would go through just to put a smile on his face is unfathomable. He's 5 years younger than me and has taken almost none of my traits except for our excellent brawling ability and that's what I like about him. We are so different... I have brown hair, he has redish-brown... I love science and memes and various forms of video games and such, he is all sport, every sport, any sport really... I love him and I would do absolutely anything and everything for him in a heartbeat without any doubt... I also love that we so many inside jokes like this one about Elizabeth Bathory (some psychopathic youth-obsessed she-devil who owns a Gerouge plantation in which she would strip young girls of their flesh) anywho, our saying would be to find something so sickening and say "This is more depraved than the Gerouge Plantation!!!" It was so funny!!! I'm not expecting you guys to get it but I was just displaying our comradeship in such matters... I'm about 6 - 6.1 feet and my brother is almost as tall as me... I know one day there will come a time when he might be more of a challenge than our usual one-arm-behind-my-back-fight haha in conclusion I just wanted to talk a bit about my personal life a bit and what relationship I have with my siblings... (my sister will never be mentioned for she bears the mark of hipster-emo-goth-myspace whore... lol) she still cool though... anyway peace out... now for a 3 hour pathetic shift at so and so...

Work

Work... what can I say really, It's boring, painful monkey business and it pays for everything I want to do. I'm not going to say where I work but I can tell you it's one those huge retail outlets that import from China and export to your little children... this isn't going to be a rant about corporate greed and such (that's another post)... I would like to explain my problem with the constant change to work standards on a monthly basis... constant team talks and training... signing sheets and sheets of shit so one can say this has been heard, learnt and now in practise in a universal attempt to unite all stores... BULLSHIT!!! Bitches like me don't care for such drama and are content on strolling through our boring-ass lives... me being 18 years old I don't live for my store and it's many ins and outs and I will quote what a good friend of mine once said... "This is just a out-back shithouse on the highway called my life"... I want to be a lawyer! That's settled then, I'm out!

Skirts and such...

This will be an entertaining tale for the few readers I know I have... On exactly the 14th of October I will wear a skirt to school, this has not come as a shock because my thinking is... if a girl can wear shorts, why can't a dude wear a skirt, also 34 other people want me to do... peer pressure and so on and so forth. There is a problem though as to the size of the skirt, if I can not find a skirt big enough than I will forfeit the dare and live in shame for about two days or so... haha Facebook is is a wonderful tool as seen by how I can change my sexuality almost instantly thanks to my wonderful best friend, a good chap to say the least...

Sins

Well except for lust, envy, pride, greed, gluttony, sloth and wrath; I've pretty much got every other sin in the bag but I would like to express how I portray each and everyone of these sins in a day. Lets start with Sloth, Sloth has to be the easiest to commit as the description pretty much allows for you to do nothing a wind up in like the 4th circle of hell... haven't read Dante's Inferno lately but I played the the Xbox game a while back... enough to know that where we're going isn't pretty. I sleep in (as in until 5 mins before school),  am guilty to the 1st degree of procrastination and also I am not fond for exercise. Gluttony has to be one of those sins I don't exactly profess to have as my life correlates with greed more... I always have to have more, whether it be knowledge or money... materialistic attitudes are in I say! I'll touch on the one everyone wants to know about LUST! A wonderful topic that I could describe in minute detail for another thousand words... I think I'll shorten it to a few lines with masturbation... I love women, I almost feel insulted when my friends call me gay cause I love them that much... so soft, so beautiful and also amazingly adept at turning the strongest man into a whipped dog... the first real love/crush that I had never turned into anything substantial but that didn't stop me from currently pursuing three women straight after...a red-head, brunette and blonde... the full spectrum I'd say haha Wrath has to be the one I'm most ashamed of and I'm afraid I've gained my father's temper... it actually scares me how angry I can get by the smallest thing not going to plan. I bottle it up inside, not good at all because it's like that Adam Sandler movie "Anger Management" where I can't figure out why everyone thinks I'm yelling or not calming down but somehow I've managed to convince everyone I'm bat-shit crazy! Envy... even now I'm thinking what if I was in his position... or her's... this actually worries me. Because to think that anything that looks better than my life could be appealing especially because of my loving family has more love for me then anything in the world has a damaging effect on my psyche. Pride develops with achievement and as I slowly gain reputation or rank in anything it starts to attach itself until utter arrogance is gained... I can't help feeling I am absolutely better than everyone else... even after that retort I just described about my willingness to trade lives with my betters. To finish I will describe how I really think of myself... I'm fast, strong, tall, intelligent and at the same time slow, weak, short, dumb (lack of a better word to really emphasise how dumb I think I am)... Narcissistic, gentle, weak-minded, headstrong, unwilling to adapt, submissive, a follower and as I sum up even I know that if I had described everything I want, like, hate and despise about this world would be shown on the 6.00 o'clock news as I walk into the United Nations Tribunal for the following War-crimes haha... not kidding either.

Prom

Ahhh we start with the tradition that has captivated every generation since… (quick google search) meh who cares when it started… surprisingly as a dude I am excited though I laugh at the fact that people plan from grade 11 and I have about 6 weeks until Prom… No date… No Suit… No Car… But it will all change soon, my grandma has hooked me up with this old dude who owns an excellent vintage classic car and who will drive for free or a good tip that will pay for some Johnnie Walker. Any-who my suit will have a purple vest and exquisite jacket… Tailored pants… the only problem is the date… yah I know man up! Balls in front, chest out ask the bitch right… not as easy as it sounds caused I have such a fear of rejection… but so does everyone else… Practise dancing are being held mornings at my school and may I say that one of my friends tell me the babes be many like fish in the sea… so God or Luck or whatever deity you may follow may be on my side… to conclude I am going down to the Gold Coast to shred shit up and when I get back school will almost be over… it is going to be soooo emotional…

Fights

Wow! I’m getting addicted to this writing thing. Anyway Fights! They come so naturally to the human race but we shame them so much… for the most part they help though we rarely see the effects especially because we don’t want to see them. I might take a less 1st person perspective on this topic… An example of a fight could be that the girl you like sleeps with someone else, does that warrant physical action… most likely not, right? Most would say no though cause the people that profess non-violence have never met a situation where violence isn’t an important choice to consider… I remember a fight with my Dad I had a loooong time ago, we were arguing about the most trivial thing (aomething about how I wouldn’t risk my life for my brother) anyway… I had decided to leave and he was in the way… being young, strong and big… I thought hmmm no-one could stop me… that was a mistake and with two punches with one dodged I fell to the floor with a busted eye… this isn’t going to end with me respecting my father or something like in pop culture… Motherfuckers still a motherfucker and shouldn’t have punched a 15 year old when he was 41… lets try to get back on topic shall we. Fighting will probably progress from materialist, intellectual and physical reasons to more subjective, less-renowned things like which pea soup someone’s having because ultimately fighting is primitive and like everything.. it evolves! Formal duels have been replaced with school yard 5 second bouts uploaded to youtube for a short while before being banned and rallied to a more sociable and definitely more explicit site… I think I might end with why a lot of school yard fights start… children are bored and the more minute the reason the more problematic it’s going to be for someone to stress their innocence when precluded to be the one who said it… Shit Happens… Assholes Cause it.

Love

This post may be a bit empathetic in nature. Of course just entering adulthood I have had my fair share of close encounters. My problem is the minds  warped sense of reality… This one girl I can’t get out of my mind, like for instance I stopped masturbating just so I could think of her more. Who does that!! Sadly though she doesn’t have the same extreme attraction to me as I do for her… though seemingly bragging I mean nothing by this, I’m beautiful… partially narcissistic I do say so myself. There must be something else but I don’t know what… This is a relatively small post compared to what I intend to write but I thought I would hit the personal shit soon just to be different or less mainstream… more in the mid-drift area